When wooing, the wooer should look in such a way to catch the wooed's attention.  Although it is best to change you outfit completely, you may not have time.  Or in my case it may be too cold to take off all the furs.  Remember In the cold of the Volga river all men become equal.

So that is why we have the Traditional Vulgar Wooing Hat.  For one can quickly change your hat as you change your mind.  Also the Hat is easier to store and carry then the Traditional Vulgar Wooing Suit.

Each part of the Hat is symbolic of the Wooers skill.  A novice will start with a simple cap and add features as he progresses.

The first is the tassel.  It is given to the novice by his teacher.  It is to symbolize that as a wooer we must allow ourselves to fall where we may but always look good will doing so.

Next the novice wooer works on his boobie prizes.  These are the white puffs that adorn the hat.  Each one signifying master of wooing one part of the wooed.  Each one is a symbol of the Creator's Greatest creation "The Boob."  (followed closely by Man's greatest creation "The Bodice" which shows off more of the first.)

After lining up your boobies, then comes the advanced masters of the tabs.  Each color representing some great task of wooing.  For example, the Yellow Tab is for successfully wooing a wooed while running away from the wooed's intended.

Lastly, the knots.  We tie a knot for every time we successfully avoid tieing the knot.

We now move past the foot and to the other side, for we should not only adore one half of perfection.  We will come back to the Feet as they must be taken to together lest they find their own way to our heart (or lower organs, depends on how flexible the woo'ed is)

If the woo'ed is a Lady, then the shin may be concealed.  But the wooer's mind should be able to see clearly the unabashed shin.  If the woo'ed's shin can be seen, then draw your passion from the exposed ankle yet concentrate on the shin.

The shin may be hard but it is sensitive to the woo'ed and is the point to the prefect circle of the woo'ed's leg.  The shin is the greater of two that protects the little fibula to hold the woo'ed tall.  As is the woo'er's passion for the woo'ed is the great concealer of our little fibs as well.

Yet as two become one with flesh in the leg of the woo'ed, so is is the hope that the woo'er end up not legless and may join in flesh as well.